You ever have those golden moments; the ones that as soon as they pass you by you find yourself wishing you had done/said/not done/not said something? I had one of those at the store tonight.

I had to stop by and pick up a few essentials (how the hell do I go through so much ketchup?), and I get to the express line and there’s a woman from the Pittsburgh Parking Authority directly in front of me. She sort of looks around, and then wanders off to another line a few down to see if it’s going to go any faster. I didn’t move up, because the line was long enough that people were having trouble getting by, and I was leaving a big enough gap for them to walk through. After about 30 seconds or so Parking Woman comes back, and slides right back to where she was. I wish I wish I had thought to step up, and tell her she had cut in front of me. Here’s how the conversation would have gone:

Me: Excuse me, but I believe I was already in line.
PW(Parking Woman): Oh, I was already in this line.
Me: Let me guess… you just stepped away for a minute, right? You were coming right back? It’s not even your shopping basket? Everyone else left the line too and you’re not asking them to move?
PW(Parking Woman): (stammers) I… uh…
Me: [Grabs the parking ticket computer thingy off of her belt and proceeds to whack her in the back of the head, take her wallet, and run off] See how you like it! Haha haha hahaha!!!

But, sadly, that didn’t happen. Maybe next time.